Enjoying EVERY Minute

Baby boy (Mr. Smiles) is 6 weeks now and we are enjoying every minute with him. This is my first time caring for a newborn and let me tell you, he is a super easy baby.  He sleeps fine, doesn't cry much unless he is cold, like when we bathe him sometimes at night while changing his diaper, or if he is really hungry. I feel so lucky and blessed to be able to be a foster parent (with hopes of adoption) but I will stop there in regards to that.

Two of my cousins from Mexico were visiting last Saturday, so one of my uncles had a little get together.  It was nice being with the family and feeling/seeing the support from each and every one of them. They welcomed Mr. Smiles (baby boy) with open arms. It is the same with my husband’s side of the family, so supportive and welcoming with Mr. Smiles.  I wish I could post pictures with baby boy so you can see the love that they already have for him.  It makes me so happy to see that and of course there would be no reason why they wouldn't be supportive, but you never know until it actually happens?

My wonderful family, not even half are in the picture, this is just some of the cousins

Everything is still a learning process with Mr. Smiles, as I'm sure it is for all new mom's.

 Every time I go to Target I want to buy him something new and then hold back since he is in that stage where he just grows so fast.  I'm constantly looking online to see what I should be doing to help with his development, all sorts of mom stuff I guess.

As I said before and will continue to say, I feel that this is the path my hubby and I were supposed to take.  We are where we need to be at this point in life.  Right now Mr. Smiles is part of the family and we know that DCFS is all about reunification and we know that is a good thing sometimes, but to be honest we went into this hoping to adopt.  Everyday I wake up I pray that he is the one...for now he is and I will give him all the love I can give.

I learned a lot from the first placement with baby girl, I had a huge wall up because I was too afraid to get too attached to her and that was selfish of me.  I didn't give her the love and support that I knew I could give and she needed during the time she was with us, she has helped me see this in a whole different way and I don't regret becoming a foster parent.

So If you are thinking about fostering or adopting through the foster care system and you are not sure if you should do this or not, just know that its not easy and can be very stressful but also very rewarding.

 

My mom made him the cutest fox beanie.  What does the fox say?



What A Day

Trying to adopt through the foster care system is a lot harder than I thought it would be, but it's not stopping us, hubby and I will keep going.

It was the very first court hearing, it was supposed to be a routine hearing for setting up a plan for bio mom to get back on track.  We were told that DCFS was going to push for adoption because bio mom has 3 other kids in the system.  But it wasn't a routine hearing...


 At 2:40 PM on Wednesday I hear my phone ding; I looked down and saw that I had a new voice mail.  I walked outside to see if I could get a bit of service to listen to the voice mail...it was from one of the social workers, letting me know that the court has released baby girl back to bio mom and bio mom would be in contact with me to arrange pick up.  My heart sunk, I was mad, sad, in disbelief, and fighting back tears.  I knew that this was a possibility when trying to adopt through the foster care system, but from the very beginning they made it seem like this adoption was a sure thing.  Of course nothing is a sure thing, but it seemed like it was heading in that direction.   I called my husband immediately, he had already talked to the social worker and he was calling me as his phone rang.  Hearing my husband cry telling me that this was harder than he thought and didn't think it would hurt this much made me feel even worse, tears were rolling down my face. I said to him "I'm sorry baby, I know it hurts, I'm going to leave work early I will call you when I'm on my way"  at that point a flood was flowing down my face.  Why was it hurting so much?  Can someone really get that attached to someone in such a short time?

I got home and my in-laws were already there.  Coincidentally they were going to come down to visit baby girl that same day.  I didn't even want to see baby girl until I felt I would not cry when I saw her.  I wanted her to see me smile and enjoy her for a few more hours.  She was happy, smiling, and her cute silly self.  My hubby called the SW to find out how this was going to happen.  Are they picking her up?  How does this work?  What happens next?  Well, it turns out "Birth mom doesn't drive, or have a car, or car seat. so you will need to take baby girl to birth mom"  WHAT!??  REALLY?? at that point we were just over it and didn't care about being our normal punctual selves (actually hubby is the punctual one), we tried to suck every last minute we could with baby girl.

When the time came to take baby girl, she had no idea what was going on and was as happy as she always was, being funny, doing all the little things we taught her while she was with us.  When baby girl came to us she didn't know much, and bio mom was clueless about her development.  At one of the visits bio mom asked if she was starting to crawl- Crawl?? She was practically walking and almost talking, she was already crawling when she was removed from bio mom.  There were times in the visits I would ask bio mom not to feed baby (who had no teeth) Chinese food or give her soda. I don't think she liked that I told her what not to give her own child but I had to do it. 

Let me back up a little.  Baby girl fit right in, she loved our dogs and especially the cats. Her favorite cat was Amasty, our black cat.  She got super attached to my mom and my hubby, her and I needed a bit more work, as I worked all day and only saw her about 1 to 2 hours a day during the week, but we had our thing, I was the one who bathe her and put her to sleep or wake up in the middle of the night to put her back to sleep (she was teething) that was our bonding moments at the time.....

Baby girls fave cat- Amasty

All in all it all felt right, and we feel so lucky that we were able to be a part of this little ones life.  All we can do now is hope that we were able to make a difference and hope that birth mom does get back on track and cares for baby girl better than she did her other 3 kids.

Hubby and I have decided that we will continue and hope that one day it will work out.  There are plenty of kids out there that need a home and we are willing to keep our home and hearts open for another child that needs it.

The Journey will still continue.

The Day We Got The Call!

Exactly one month after I started this blog we got the call for our very first placement!

Ok so first of let me say that due to this being a state matter I cannot post pictures on Facebook or on my blog or go into much detail.

A week before the official placement we received a call about a possible placement. We were told that we would need to pick up the little guy straight from the hospital that day or the next; the same day our homestudy was approved!  45 Min later we got a call back saying there was a big misunderstanding; just kidding about the little guy, it was a little girl not a new born but still less then a year old.  Another 45 min later they called back "just kidding again" there was another misunderstanding...Aah!! There was no child in need of a home sorry... Once that happened its like our patience switch was turned off, I had already given my boss a heads up that I might need to take some time off...just kidding I don't need time off yet, oi how do I turn this patience switch back on? We waited over a year to get approved I can do some more waiting right? Right!
 
 Well our patience paid off, about a week later we got a call about the same baby girl, we were told they would be dropping her off that afternoon, too bad I was on a business trip 370 miles away from home, aaah!! Good thing hubby was home, but I was not going to be able to meet Baby girl until later that evening.   When I met baby girl I didn't know how to feel or think. I think I had a bit of a wall up as I am new to all this, and when you foster reunification is always priority for DCFS.  As of right now we do not have much info in regards to baby girl as her SW is on vacation, once she gets back we will know more and see where this is going to go...fingers crossed.  Right now we are both enjoying having her in  our home, she has so much personality and makes us laugh everyday, I feel blessed to be able to do this...I'm a MOM! =)



Journey to be continued...