Deciding To Adopt

This last week was my first week back to work after 8 weeks off to bond with Mr. Smiles.  It was bitter sweet.  It actually felt good to go back to work, as much as I was dreading the day, it wasn't so bad and I got to see my co-workers (we need to start hanging out outside of work more often, you know who you are)

I did miss Mr. Smiles a lot, it was weird not being there with him. 
It got me thinking about the time when my hubby first brought up adoption.  I remember telling him "no way, if we can't have any it must be for a reason; besides I'm afraid I wont love him/her like I would my own.  So no, no adoption" Oh my sweet dear husband loves me so much that he did not get mad or said anything negative, he was very patient with me and would bring it up every now and then.  Finally, after years, I started thinking about it and started researching adoption agencies -way too expensive, definitely not in our budget.  It depressed me and I would say to him "So what, if you don't have tons of money and can't give birth to a baby you are not meant to be a parent?"  I would get pretty angry. 

Hubby then started looking into adopting through the foster care system.  I was a bit hesitant because I wasn't sure I would be able to handle taking in a baby/child and then having them taken away if reunification with the birth family happened.  I began to do research on that for about a year, hubby and I talked and decided to go to orientation to see what its all about and if it would be possible to adopt a baby.

 We went to an orientation through an agency that worked with the foster care system.  We had heard a lot of good things about them, but in orientation we were told that babies aren't always up for adoption "you wont be able to adopt a newborn, there really aren't any babies".  My husband and I left the orientation very discouraged to try and adopt through the foster care system.  We felt they were trying to push older kids on us.  We were 26 and 27 at the time, with no children and we felt that a baby would be best for our family.  We decided to go to one more orientation, through the county this time, and got a lot more info.  We decided to go through with it and here we are now on our second placement with a 4 month old little boy (he was placed with us at 2 weeks old) who we are hoping to adopt.  For now enjoying every minute with Mr. Smiles and keeping our fingers crossed that it will all work out.

Feels Right

I will be keeping this post short and sweet.

You know as frustrating as this all feels/is sometimes it's actually very rewarding being a foster parent, not easy, but when is life ever easy. 

 Hubby and I don't know much on how baby girl is doing, just that the SW visited the first week she was back with bio mom and we were told she was doing ok.  We would like to think that all is good and that she will not go back into the system. 

 It's been almost 2 weeks now since we got a call for our second placement. My husband called me at work to let me know there was a 2 week old baby boy born on my birthday (could it be a sign?) ready to be picked up straight from the hospital.  At first I was a bit hesitant as the baby is so young and I've never cared for a newborn before, so it was a bit scary, what if I break him? After giving it some thought we decided to go for it, there was a baby out there who needed a home/family right now and so here we are with an almost 1 month old baby boy who is probably the best baby ever (that I have met).  He doesn't cry much, just when he is getting a bath other than that I would say we have gotten pretty lucky with an easy baby...so far. 

I do have to say that one of my least favorite things is changing a poopy diaper, I have to admit that I did end up cutting off a onesie off the baby because there was a poop explosion and got all over baby boy's clothes cause he was moving those little legs too much.  There was just no way I was going to take it off by pulling it over his head and get poop all over him...don't judge :) 

So as always the journey continues.

His little outfit to wear through out the month of October :)